First time in Paris

Paris. Thy city of love. Thy was a typo but I am just going to leave it because it’s fancy English. Paris is great for non-in-love people too but some neh sayers say neh neh. I say to them, have a Parisian macaron you day-old couch fart! Then tell me you don’t love Paris.

The first time I went, we stayed in an Airbnb near the Eiffel tower, which was beautiful but the person I went with nearly had to sell his kidney to pay for it. The second time around, we were wiser and stayed outside of the centre in the 20th arrondissement- with all our internal organs intact. We would then just take the cheap 3 euro metro (buy a 10-day ticket single trip packet and it’s even cheaper than cheap!) around the city.

Sights to see

We’re not really artsy people unless you count having two types of dipping sauces for your fries but the Louvre is one of those have-to-see museums for whatever reason so we scooted in there one day to see the Mona Lisa in all her tiny glory. We ran in, at around 4 pm and left no later than 5 pm. We would have exited sooner but my goodness is the Louvre huge and boy am I out of shape.

How the hour went: we basically found the Mona Lisa, we became appalled by how little room there was to take a photo since everyone was parked in front of the painting staring at it through their camera lenses, we sat on a bench near some Cherub paintings since we were exhausted from all that brisk walking proclaimed as running, then we left. We ended up spending more time playing with these massive air vent-type things in the street outside of the Louvre, than inside it. I am sure art lovers everywhere are appalled by this and they should be.

The free view of the Eiffel Tower from a distance- that apparently everyone knows about is from the Sacré-Cœur Basilica, which is also a stunning building.

Notre Dame is another one of those iconic must-sees in Paris and we saw it back in 2015… from the outside of course. With the 2019 fire, you aren’t able to go inside so we should have when we had the chance but you can’t win them all. Right near the fancy church is the best bookstore called Shakespeare and Co. The books are in English since we are spoiled like that. You can even get them to stamp your purchased book like in the olden days when Shakespeare had his intricate 3D laser-embossed stamps! They also had/ have a cat- I say had because we went 5 years ago and I don’t want to get your hopes up. He looked sturdy though, so I’m sure he is still there.

Food frustrations

Food-wise, we had yet to find delectable restaurant dishes in Paris since we somehow ended up in these overpriced tourist stink-holes (they’re not actually stinky I just couldn’t think of a better word). Due to this, we hit up many of their delicious bakeries scattered around the city for little pastries and whatnots. For our picnic in front of the Eiffel Tower, we went to Carrefour supermarket for wine, cheese, and baguettes as one does in Paris. The picnic was stellar. The grass was a bit prickly and you need to watch out for people who want to steal your food and money (they really like grapes). So I recommend bringing a blanket if available and watching your stuff like a hawk (don’t give them a single grape or they’ll hover!).

La Promenade Plantée

One of the most charming things we’ve done in Paris is this walk along a former railway line. It’s shown in a movie called Before Sunset which is also charming. This is the directions we found online translated from French on where to start: “Promenade Plantee- Access the western part from Bastille by walking down rue de Lyon to Avenue Daumesnil. Once you reach the viaduct on the left, take the staircase”. We think we started there and if we did, you will find an adorable bakery right across the street from the staircase.

Day trips

Palace of Versailles is amazing and should be pre-booked. It is so excessively big. You can rent golf carts and bikes down by the massive river/ lake thingy that the guy decided to put in however long ago. That was probably the most accurate, descriptive history lesson you will ever receive.

Disneyland Paris eeeeekkkk. I prebooked my tickets online via their official website. It’s a simple enough train ride from Paris to the town called Chessy- almost like cheesy that Mickey Mouse would eat. You can tell which train it is by all the screaming children dressed in costumes with sticky fingers. There are few times in my life that I actually run- and to the gates of the happiest place on earth is one of them. My friend and I were actually told to calm down since it is nothing like California Disneyland and the Autotopia worker was right. It is much smaller than actual Disneyland but a lovely treat none the less.

Paris is always a good idea

I agree Audrey, you can’t go wrong- even if your special someone is more of a something like food, art, architecture, or the outdoors.

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