I have my rant pants on so brace yourselves.

I pull up a chair at a fancy, waterfront restaurant. Three dollar signs ($$$)! That is two and a half more than normal. This is relevant because it means I didn’t skimp.

In the breezy, island weather, what would satisfy my taste buds is seafood soup. I get an excitement quiver as I manage to find the exact thing on the menu. Scrumptious. I impatiently wait for my food to arrive, not even listening to what the people around me have to say because food. When I see the waiter approach with my soup along with a secondary, empty bowl, I immediately realise I have made a gargantuan mistake.

WHY is it so hard to remove the shells from shellfish in a meal, BEFORE giving it to the person? WHY put the entire crustacean in my soup? You know what gets stuck in shells? SAND. I just spent three dollar signs, I don’t want to chew on shells nor sand in my meal. Both of which were present in my soup, so thanks!

It’s not fancy, it is lazy. How difficult is it to de-shell something cold before it is placed scalding-hot in front of me? Naturally, I burn and cut my fingers trying to remove the shells, splash fish soup all over the white table cloth, nearly chip my teeth from biting down on clamshell, and overall just have a lot of anger.

It is a surefire way to ruin a meal.

Ugh, they do this thing with fish too. Where they just deep-fry the entire thing- skin, eyeballs, bones and all. It is ridiculous.

Honestly, I really like seafood, but I have had so many bad experiences with it, that I don’t even consider it an option on the menu anymore.