I am the genius who travelled to India for almost a month knowing I really don’t like Indian food. Now, you would think if I don’t like the food, I would eat less and therefore lose weight. This was not so. Since I disliked it so much, I was averaging about 6 Kit Kat bars a day: some hair-free, non-spicy, pasteurized milk, safely wrapped in plastic, Western delicacy. This may have contributed to the 15 pounds (6.8 kg) I gained. I said may so don’t you sass me. Normally, I would walk everywhere to save money which would offset some of those bars accumulating around my waist but on this trip, me and four other people hired a van and driver to take us around the mid- North of India. I barely had to walk anywhere. Pretty much the only exercise I did was squatting over the hole-in-the-ground toilets which was a major struggle.

Sometimes, I am too poor to eat so that reduces the amount I consume but I always find a way to food. I have also had the other extreme where I love the food so much that I eat anything and everything like a savage beast feasting on an animal carcass. There is apparently no middle ground for me.

Knowing how my body expands when travelling, I look at some of these travel Instagram accounts and think what the heck. They have these people with tanned, toned bodies with flowing locks standing just right so all their muscles glisten. My only conclusion is that these people constantly eat bad samosas on purpose- nature’s laxative. You can not tell me that these whack jobs are going for runs every morning. Will I hike up a mountain to see a gorgeous city view or climb some tower stairs? I will complain but absolutely. Will I go out of my way to exercise at a gym while travelling? Hard no. I need to be tricked into exercising by incorporating it into my sightseeing.

I am just going to ignore the obvious and go with what some cultures consider being plump beautiful and anyone who goes out of their way to exercise while travelling is psycho.

If you are like me and the only reason why you would click on this article was to find out where that delicious meat picture was taken- it was in Lisbon, Portugal at Frangasqueira Nacional and it was divine.