The Bed Bugs Bite

After nine years of travel, it unfortunately happened.

When we booked our accommodation, Troy opted to splurge on a small cabin with two single beds on opposite sides of the room instead of a cozy, plastic tent (obviously my cheap-ass’- preference) at the Venice camping site we chose. Even though I insisted that plastic tents are always better (sorry dolphins) and that a tent without a fan or AC in 30-degree weather would be slightly more than bearable, we opted for the cabin. (The irony of this to come is funny albeit terribly tragic at the same time.) So that night after switching beds with me since my bed mildly broke, we closed our eyes and dreamt (not sure if that’s a word) of our Venetian adventures the next day. That morning, I softly woke with rays of sunshine tickling my nose, birds sang to me as a deer and a bunny helped me get dressed. Troy abruptly woke COVERED in red marks. He looked like that elephant from the Island of Misfit Toys in the classic Rudolph movie. In hindsight (always with this hindsight business) we should have put two and two together that it was bed bugs but since I wasn’t bitten at all we figured it was some weird phenomenon that couldn’t be explained and we were on vacay so you’re not supposed to think too hard. So we continued on with our day as planned. One of us was itching and uncomfortable the entire day.

Night 2 in the same cabin you can guess what happened… except this time there was proof. Little bugs running around all over the place. Me, being a massive baby about insects (any and all of them in general) I was hysterical despite being the non-bitten one. I hurriedly grabbed our things (forgetting Troy’s very expensive headphones in the process) and stood outside the cabin waiting for him to get back from the reception where he went to explain what happened and to ask for another non-infested room. When I saw him walking back down the gravel path towards me, he looked even madder than I expected for someone who was spotted in red. Apparently (in true Italian fashion) they argued with him saying that we brought the bedbugs in and that he was lying. Nevertheless, they gave us a large plastic tent to spend the last 4 hours of our night in. Being the sweetheart that he is, Troy spent those 4 hours combing each and every millimetre of our bags and possessions to see if the bugs entered somehow while I tried to sleep (despite the phantom biting I was experiencing). Naturally, we didn’t want these little assholes following us.

Thanks for asking. Yes, they still charged us two full nights’ accommodation with no discount which stung almost more than the bed bugs (I assume).

If you are wondering how I didn’t get bitten: according to mildly factual online sources- bed bugs like to live in wood and at night crawl into beds and feast on your body. They just so happened to be on the side where Troy slept (where I was originally supposed to sleep). So yes, if we stayed in the cheaper tent, made of plastic, they would have had nowhere to live/thrive. The irony.

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